Pen Pal

Professional Pen Pal Service

Everyone loves receiving mail that isn’t bills. Half the reason we order things to begin with is the joy of our new stuff arriving.

I will send you personal mail on a weekly basis the content of which will vary widely depending on my mood, my whereabouts, and correspondence you may send me. The physical form of the mail will vary depending on whether I send a letter, a postcard, or something strange I find lying around.

You may ask why you would pay for me to write to you when other people could do it for free and the answer is twofold. Firstly, other people aren’t and secondly,

I am a professional. 

Next, you may ask what I mean by “professional.” Well, I will write to you regularly, every week. Like a professional. As a calligrapher and member of both the Society of Scribes and the International Union of Mail Artists, your mail will stand out from the rest.

If you don’t like it, you can always ask me to stop, but that seems unlikely.

• Step 1: Give Me Your Money
• Step 2: Ink gestation
• Step 3: A Letter is Born

Step #1:  Give Ian your money in US currency

$10.00 per month of service or $100.00 for a year.

Ian takes paypal and credit cards through paypal.

If you’d like to pay by check, send to:

Ian K.

PO Box 1452

Stamford, CT

06904-1452

Step #2: Ian will eat parchment and wash it down with magical ink.

This is where everything that will become your mail is brought together. I have to determine if it will be a postcard as usual or if I’m going to send a letter. If it’s a letter, I’ll probably fold it in a fun pattern. Sometimes I find things and wonder if they’ll go in the mail, so, this is where I try and figure that out. This is also the step where I decide whether to use sealing wax, and if so, which seal and which color. And then, the stamps…

Step #3: The wondrous items having run their course through his digestive tract, Ian will shit mail and send it to you. While I don’t actually eat paper or drink ink, step 3 is where your mail is actually created and sent off to you. Usually that will be a postcard but you may get the occassional letter. Sometimes, I’ll write on a paper bag or a piece of cardboard. Once, it was a wrapper from a crunchwrap supreme.